Harry Potter And The BoyWhoLivedToSnog
by Angyua
Summary: Harry Potter and Ginny Weasly, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasly in Diagon Alley. aka. Snog Town. But, what's this? Voldemort? Attacking? Well this has never happened before. An ambush. How original.


**Diagon Alley and the Boy-Who-Lived-to-Snog**

"Ron!" exclaimed an excited, curly haired, brunette.

"Hey 'mione" said a very cool Ron.

He had grown over the short time they had been apart. His shoulders were wide and his upper body had the physique of an athlete. His legs, while still thin had developed a light layer of muscle, like a sprinter. Ron was no longer gangly, but tall and lean. His long, straight, fiery hair fell across his eyes and he swept it aside with one large tanned hand, revealing shockingly clear blue eyes.

However, it wasn't only Ron who had changed. A dome of frizzy, bushy brown hair no longer framed Hermione's face, instead soft luscious curls escaped her messy bun, framing her face and lightly drifting along her neck. She too had grown but definitely not in the same places. The result was a stunning young woman.

"How's life?" she said, dimpling.

"Oh you know explosions, evil plots, essays. The usual. You?" Ron said taking her hand and strolling down the alley.

"Nothing much. I set couple of world records on my OWLs and I've recovered from the fight for my life with the Dark Lord's minions." She replied "Where's Harry? And Gin?"

No sooner had she said it than had a red headed vixen come into view. Ginny was no longer the pretty little girl, youngest of the Weaslys, she was now a gorgeous teenage goddess. Her wavy hair streaming like fire behind her, the crowd seemed to part to let her pass. In reality, the crowds were pushed aside by the wall of gaping teenage guys, frozen on the spot. She was still slim, petite but she was taller with some definite curves.

"Hi Hermione, Ronnikins ("stop saying that!"), fine Ron. Harry will be along in a sec," said Ginny, "there he is now."

Harry was different. He had suddenly developed a summer tan and muscle. His plain black robe was open revealing a thin, white tee shirt. His hair was a messy as ever but it looked good. His green eyes sparkled (NOT twinkled) as if to say "I'm sexy, you know it, but I know something you don't know."

"Hey Weasly, 'mione, Gin" he said kissing Ginny.

"When did that happen!" Ron said in a strangled voice.

" 'Bout three minutes ago" said Ginny, smirking wickedly.

"Vixen!" said Hermione.

"You have no idea" said Harry suggestively.

Ron started to hyperventilate.

"Oh shush!" said Hermione, kissing him.

When they didn't come up for air, Harry shrugged and started kissing Ginny again.

Several minutes passed.

"Ahem? If you've quite finished your little snog-fest..."

A murmur of "little?" could be heard followed by "vixen!" as the teen agers looked up. Lord Voldemort was standing in front of them, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Oh my. Voldemort. How...original. This exact same type of encounter hasn't happened several times before. Oh Ronnie, will you save me?" said Hermione, complete with a pathetic girly flutter.

"Oh bugger off Tom. Harry can't play today, his hands are…busy" said Ginny.

"_Vixen!"_

"I plot and I plot and I stun Diagon Alley and you tell me to bugger off" Voldemort said sulkily.

They looked around. I seemed on closer inspection the …inhabitants and clientele of Diagon Alley were not, as they had first thought, having a lovely afternoon nap, but were instead laying on the ground, stunned.

"Why must you do everything at the most inconvenient times?" said Hermione.

"Look just give us twenty, no thirty, okay give us an even hour, then we will fight you" said Ginny "okay?"

A murmur of "vixen!"came from somewhere near Harry.

"No! I wanna fight NOW!" said Lord Whinymort.

Hermione pegged a glass sneakoscope from Ron's pocket at Voldemort's groin.

"Ah well, it was broken anyway" Harry said nonchalantly watching Mouldywarts stand back up.

"That was nasty Hermione. Below the belt. Literally" said Ron grinning.

The others groaned at the feeble joke.

"C'mon Tommy. Bugger off. There is snogging to be done!" said the Boy-Who-Lived-to-Snog.

"No!" replied the Dark-sounds-like-a-spoiled-brat-Lord.

Harry pulled what looked like a dungbomb out of his pocket and pegged it at Corpseymort. It hit him square in the forehead and he hit the flagstones. A smelly green cloud enveloped him.

Hermione looked questionably at Harry and he elaborated.

"WWW Kick-arse Kryptonite Kloud" he said.

"Ah."

They looked around at the stunned people and the corpse of the dark lord formerly known as Prin—Tom Riddle and blinked.

The barkeep Tom emerged from the Leaky Cauldron and tutted. He cast a mass _Enervate_ charm and went back inside.

Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione started snogging again while aurors cleaned Deceased-e-mort up, stopping only to pin Fudge down and beat him to a bloody pulp while bystanders suddenly became very interested in their fingernails.

The sexy beast Harry and his girlfriend, the fiery goddess Ginny proceeded to find a comfy cupboard and close the door. Disturbing noises followed.

Hermione, the stunning academic and her luscious, athlete Ron disappeared, turning up quite some time later looking quite dishevelled.

**THE END. OH WAIT...**

* * *

"Where's Ginny? And Harry? Haven't seen them at all!" asked Mrs Weasly.

"Vixen!" hissed Hermione.

"Here!" called a voice from what appeared to be a closet.

"Vixen!" said another voice sounding suspiciously like Lupin, who was standing near the fire, next to Tonks.

"Oh. Umm. Mum...Hermione needs to...come with me...alone...and help me..clean my mou-" started Ron, seeing a possible escape.

"Ahh. Right I need to help him with his...Charms," interrupted Hermione nervously.

"Ah yeah. You know. Practice wand movements and stuff," said Ron, taking the cue.

"If you're lucky, she will," muttered Remus.

**THE END.**

**REALLY.**


End file.
